Jerry, you need to find god
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
