Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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