What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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