That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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