Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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