Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
