dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
