Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
