woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you made out with another girl for some wings
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
