$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
