eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A+ Viking dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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