he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
