You work out of a Hotel?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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