Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
