I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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