Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
