Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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