and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
