You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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