If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this just has baby written all over it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
