four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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