Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
