i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm bleeding and have questions
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
