Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
