worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is my gift to your gina
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
