All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
