Soap is not a condiment
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
