ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
