If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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