I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
