i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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