I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've blown a few things in my day
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
