Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
