so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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