Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
