He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
