ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
