if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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