the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
