I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
