I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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