Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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