whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
