eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
