Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
