Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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