Dual....:-)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
