Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
