she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Someone signed my nipple.
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