i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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