Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
