Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
